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04 September 2008 @ 08:23 pm
Our Lady of Perpetual Agony
  News and Announcements - 09/12/2008


Spaghetti Dinner

Sept 21st

It’s that time again! The Annual OLPA Spaghetti Dinner!

Price: $10.00 for adults / $5.00 for children

Hours: 5:00 – 8:00 pm

Urgent Donation Request

HELP!!! We are currently in need of large amounts of macaroni, dog food and Kool-Aid!! Please call Clarice or Kathy Collier  421-8128

Looking for Pretzel Volunteer

We need a person to co-ordinate between the pretzel vendor and the school janitor to ensure daily delivery of pretzels for the students. Remember: A nickel of every dollar goes towards saving a pagan baby. If interested, please inform Pastor Hindenburg, Clarice or Kathy Collier – 421-8128.

Sound Board Operators

We are trying to set up a refresher meeting /info meeting with Mid-State Sound to help us understand our system better. The feedback at last week’s service hospitalized Agnes Schumacher – again! If you’re interested, talk to Pastor about days and times so we can make an appointment (be sure to speak very loudly when calling).

Early Bird Registration

Dread the thought of children’s laughter this Christmas? Then it’s time to start planning for Winter 2008 at Carol Joy Holling Boot Camp! Anyone interested in enrolling their children this month before “visions of sugar plumbs are dancing in their heads” will qualify for the Early Bird Discount of $35.00 from CJH.


Registration forms can be picked up at the rectory
or at the Sussex Valley Police Department.


Wanda Hagerman is looking for her large round pyrex bowl with a dark green lid. She brought a salad to church for Sydney Schumacher’s funeral and hasn’t been able to locate it since then. If you mistakenly took the wrong bowl home, please return it to the church so Wanda has her set complete. Let’s not let this be a repeat of the Jenkins Tupperware incident!

Please Lock Doors!

Please make sure you lock the doors after you have had an event at the church. Someone replaced the baby Jesus with a dead possum last week. It wasn’t funny the first 7 times. Now the stench has become overwhelming.


Lights have been left on in the Fellowship/Parish Hall. The lights in the fellowship hall need to be turned all the way until they click. Those seen leaving the hall without properly turning off the lights will be turned over to Sister Bruno. You’ve been warned.

Prayer Concerns

We ask that you keep Harriet Anderson, Mildred Hagerman, Knud & Carolyn Larsen, and Elmer Clay in your prayers. They all recently attended the Black Sabbath reunion concert and had to be taken out on stretchers. Again, just because Ozzie Osborne can do drugs until he’s 100 does not mean our parishioners can!


In honor of this year’s 70th anniversary of Germany's annexation of the Sudetenland, the theme for this year's Oktoberfest is Kristallnacht ("Night of Broken Glass"). Pastor Hindenburg will be on hand to tell hilarious stories about growing up in Germany in the 1930’s. We hope you can all join us for this festive celebration!






As we do each presidential election, we blindly support the straight Republican Party ticket. Anyone seen supporting Barack Obama will be escorted from the Fellowship/Parish Hall grounds. Any cars seen with Democrat bumper stickers will also be impounded by
the Sussex Valley Police.


Note: Quoting the pope or the Bible in contradiction to our
strict beliefs is grounds for immediate dismissal.

Office Hours

I will be having a change of life while my husband is recovering from recent knee surgery. I will have to take him to physical therapy and electro-shock treatment; so on those days I will be in the office from 12 to 5 pm instead of my usual 9am – 2 pm.


As we say each month, our purpose is not to discuss whether there’s a God or not, but to build the finest church on earth.

(kudos to Lenny Bruce)

     Thanks for your cooperation. Clarice


Current Music: Dionne Warwick - Live in Paris 1966